Far be it from me to ruin this review with my personal feelings towards Batman, but if you can't find at least one lame element to Batman as a character and the canon as a whole, you're not looking hard enough. That said, this Marvel fanboy is checking out Batman: Arkham Asylum.

Aside from any technical details about the game, there's one thing that anyone in their 20s will appreciate: the voice cast. Batman, the Joker and Harley Quinn are all voiced by the original actors from the 1990s animated series (Kevin Conroy, Mark Hamill and Arleen Sorkin, respectively).

The thing that ruined Batman for me in the Christopher Nolan films is Christian Bale's gravely voice when he dons the cowl. Obviously, you want to change your voice to maintain your secret identity, but Kevin Conroy perfected it by just being nice as Bruce Wayne and serious as Batman. ALFRED! GET ME A LOZENGE! The Joker isn't what I remember him in the cartoon, but it may be because Hamill's getting older and/or he's now allowed to let loose with a more unsettling approach in a rated-M game. Harley Quinn, a tertiary character at best, only exists to introduce new characters and events.

As I boot up the game, I remind myself how old the Unreal 3 engine is (relative to the evolution speed of video games). When will Unreal 4 come out? I don't want a Gears of War experience, I want an Assassin's Creed meets Splinter Cell experience. Luckily, that's exactly what you get. Granted, this is a visually dark game because of its night/dark theme and the whole thing being indoors. That said, some very interesting things still stand out. Water effects, such as surface reflections and rain, are incredible. The opening cinematic, rendered in-game with the engine, is something that I would want to see in an animated film. The classic Batmobile plays by a different set of physics rules and leaves a humorous red tail-light trail as it zooms by. Combat is appropriately simple for game that shouldn't be relying on direct combat to subdue most targets.

Detective Mode reminds me a lot of Condemned: Criminal Origins. Evidence from the scene is analyzed and used to follow the trail of the suspect. It's certainly appropriate for "The World's Greatest Detective" to actually do some detecting, since very little happens in the comics these days. Let's remember, Batman doesn't just fight crime, he solves it. Clues and evidence are very important and the game does a very good job of incorporating this into the story. The game design is very well done, one of the best executions of player direction I've seen recently. By that, I mean having a limited space and returning to explore different sections, must like Ocarina of Time. However, the continuity of enemy presence is a bit off-setting, when you return to the open yard and defeated goons are gone, replacements are present, and then mutant plants are everywhere.

Of course, one of the most important factors of this kind of game is combat. Not that it conflicts with Batman tradition, the iconic goons all look the same. One single model was copied and given a small array of hair, clothes and dialogue. It's not unexpected, but the recycling of character models just makes me dread how close up the camera gets during certain aspects of combat. Batman is trained in martial arts and has ways of incorporating the design of his suit into the mix. Unfortately, the fighting experience is just button mashing. The single attack button adds variation when timed correctly, but the defensive nature of Batman’s combat is essentially “don’t get hit and hit them when they’re not looking”. The most notable feature of the combat is when all enemies in sight have been eliminated, the last blow gets the slow-mo treatment for no real reason other than to watch someone’s head get crushed into a wall. It should also be noted that Batman, being explicitly a non-killing hero, only knocks people unconcious, which is proven by Detective Mode. Boss combat is extremely redundant to the point where it makes me want to stop playing. It's not hard; the challenge is sticking with the repetition so long. Poison Ivy makes the longest boss fight and it just makes me think that Rock Steady played too many Zelda games with their "three hit rule". Hell, the final Joker battle (which is ridiculous) is equally asanine.

For a stealth action game, there's a lot of combat is forced to be not-stealthy. I was expecting something along the lines of Splinter Cell, taking out guards on their patrol in the shadows, but instead creep around lit rooms and take them out from extremely out of place interior gargoyles. Batman is the justice of the night, waiting in the shadows and bringing criminals to light; he does not walk around hallways filled with thugs. I fully expect a city-based sequel that incorporates the use of alleys and rooftops to avoid detection (then those gargoyles wouldn't seem to out of place). Vehicles don't necessarily need to be involved, as many games have shown us that vehicle segments make poor activities, but there has to be something to break up the crime fighting, possibly a Spider-Man-like free-roam experience.

My favorite moment, hands down, is the last Scarecrow encounter, where the screen flickers and shorts out in a very realistic fashion. It’s a convincing fake-out, since today’s consoles are known for their unreliability. The opening cinematic then plays again, reversing the roles of Batman and Joker. It's completely superfluous to the gameplay, but it completes the truly psychologically traumatic moments while affected by the fear gas. The collectibles are somewhat rewarding, but not towards gameplay. The Riddler tokens add up and unlock information and an interesting recording of "the spirit of Arkham", which *gasp* is a metaphor for Batman.

All said and done, this is by far the best Batman game ever made. The balance of action, story and honest to God detective work are truly impressive. However, it fits into the status quo category of being too short to be worth $60. Let it drop, then snatch it up and hang it by a gargoyle. In your living room. Because that's where gargoyles belong.